Lent- exhausted from sorrow

This winter and into Lent I've been reading a wonderful devotional, Seeking God's Face- Praying with the Bible through the Year. It follows the church calendar and the readings this week reflect on the comingPassion.  So yesterday I read-

Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. 

On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me: yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. 

When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. "Why are you sleeping? he asked them. "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."

While he was still speaking, a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus asked him, "Judas, are you betraying the son of Man with a kiss?"

When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" And on of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

But Jesus answered, "No more of this!"

Luke 22:39-51

I don't know how many times I have read this passage or heard it read but this time, "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him." leaped off the page.  How had I forgotten there was an angel? And the disciples were a stone's throw away from him, asleep? 

Have there been  times when I was close to an angel, so close to a ministering presence that could offer me strength, as this one that strengthened the Lord Himself?  Perhaps the angel was just for Jesus and the disciples weren't ready to see angels among them.  Someone knew- Luke recorded it.  All we know is they were warned of  coming temptations and exhorted to pray. Instead, they responded to their present sorrow and fell into an exhausted sleep. 

                                         ...he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. 

We know that Judas had left to collect his twenty silver pieces to betray Christ. The disciples and Jesus had just finished a Passover meal together and Jesus had washed their feet. They were bonded into a band of brothers. But as they followed him to their usual place of prayer, a quiet grove of olives on a hill overlooking Jerusalem, they must have had troubling questions. 

Why are we going out here at night? We have enemies about at night.

 Does Jesus know what he's doing?

Where is Judas? Did I understand right what Jesus said about him? 

How does all of this dread and darkness fit in with that wild parade into Jerusalem just days ago?

The people loved him and waved palm branches.  

Why doesn't Jesus seize this time of popularity to declare his intentions?

I don't understand what Jesus is doing.

What's this "fall into temptation" he's talking about?

 Doesn't Jesus know me? 

So while Jesus withdrew and sweat drops of blood in his anguish and turmoil, his disciples wrestled with their own turmoil. All the time they spent with him, walking and talking, seeing miracles up close and personal, even being sent out and returning rejoicing that the demons obeyed them.

¹⁷ The seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” ¹⁸ And He said to them, “I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning. ¹⁹ Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you. ²⁰ Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven.”

²³ Turning to the disciples, He said privately, “Blessed are the eyes which see the things you see, ²⁴ for I say to you, that many prophets and kings wished to see the things which you see, and did not see them, and to hear the things which you hear, and did not hear them.” Luke 10

Now here they are in the garden, only months or even weeks after Jesus told them they were blessed to see the things you see and that they were to rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven. And they are asleep, exhausted from sorrow. They missed the angel. Soon, they will fall into temptation. Some will respond in fear and anger when Judas shows up. They will pull swords and begin hacking at ears.  Some will just run away.  Before the night is over, one will deny Him. 

And Jesus' response? 

                                              But Jesus answered, "No more of this!"  

No more of what? Anger, violence? Of course, but I wonder if he also meant no more falling asleep in exhaustion from unanswered questions. No more missing what is happening in the spiritual realm all around you. No more missing the angel sent to strengthen. 

What do I do when my questions aren't answered? 

Do I pray for strength to face the temptations of anger and despair?
Do I wait in faith to join the activity in the spiritual realm?
Do I open myself to the ministrations of others, and let God decide if it's to be an angel or a human?

Or do I exhaust myself in my sorrow?


Today I'm pondering during this season of Lent.