Aging and looking fine at 85

THE INVITATION (by Carol Orshorn)

“I’ve got an invitation for you that you won’t be able to refuse. It’s a multi-year, in-depth course that is designed to strip away your ego, confront you with ultimate questions about meaning and purpose, and give you the opportunity to come to terms with mortality while learning to appreciate the present moment. 

It’s called aging. 

If you are fortunate to live long enough, you won’t have a choice about whether or not you will be confronted with losses, challenges, and diminishments that accompany growing older. You will have the opportunity to choose whether you will become a victim of age or, alternately, transform aging into a spiritual path that at last offers the promise of fulfilling your true human potential.”

Carol Orshorn, editor of Fierce with Age, is proud to be amongst the contributors to this milestone work.   You can read more of my, as well as all of the other essays, in the book: “The Dance of Spirit in Later Life”.
http://fiercewithage.com/ 


I met Carol at a prayer journaling workshop in Nashville- she stood out in our small gathering.  I had squeezed the morning session into my schedule and I wanted to get to know her in our brief encounter.  She was fascinating and as I’ve read more of her work, really impressive.  She consults organizations on communicating with Boomers- and addresses those Boomers are aging. Whether they like it or not!

And most of us don’t like it. The same generation that perfected conspicuous consumption and rejected delayed gratification now refuses to age gracefully. If able, we spent our forties filling large homes with lots of stuff bought with credit cards.  Today cosmetic surgery and anti-aging products are big business and we are their best customers.  I have no problem with self improvement- there are days I look at my post c-section tummy and seriously consider a tuck myself.  But what does the obsession with retaining our youthfulness say about us? 

It might say we are discontent with ourselves and/or our stuff.  

It might say we are scared of the future. 

Or we could be ignoring the possibilities of the next adventure in life! 

It may be a blessing to be discontent- after all, the plethora of stuff from the last economic boom proved to be a fleeting satisfaction.  And if we don’t use the latest products, our faces may reflect our decline.  But as Carol Orshorn and other’s are saying, “What’s wrong with being old?”



I’m thinking more of aging as I walk my mother through doctor’s appointments and banking issues. She was diagnosed with colon cancer and had twelve inches of colon removed this month. She's slower, less likely to use the stairs and more likely to turn to the elevator. She still walks but now it’s the the carpeted halls of her condominium. Food choice is restricted for a few weeks but her appetite isn’t ravenous either. Food doesn’t taste the same but there is no pressure to prepare meals. Instead she welcomes a steady stream of neighbors who bring food or just slide a card for her under the door.  She has community. 

She stills curls her hair and puts on makeup but usually it’s just a little lipstick to add some color. She’s accepting of her physical changes.  Would she like to have the strength of youth? Probably, but not at the expense of the wisdom of aging. She doesn’t long to be young.  In fact, she seems to be laughing more these days. 

I see my mother more available for a neighborly chat or a phone call. More willing to just sit and read, productivity set aside for another cup of tea. She still volunteers and runs her own household but BEing seems to be winning over DOing. 



Maybe we needn’t look with dread to the future. Maybe it is the next great adventure.  A time to focus on the internal vs the external.  A time to put aside the high heels for mountain climbing boots and get ready to climb- not up into the physical mountains, but deep into our souls.  Finally a time to slow down and reflect, to express our gratitude - not just for what God has done, but also for who we have become by His grace. 



I don’t know yet what it’s like to be old but watching my mother makes me fear aging less. There’s a sweet acceptance- of the future, of her children’s help, of the simple pleasures of life.  Thanks, Mom- you’re making 85 look just fine!