I just missed my flight to San Antonio. I was fussing at myself, of course. “Idiot”, etc. I was on time, I just misread the flight info and waited for 45 minutes at the FRONTIER terminal rather than the SOUTHWEST terminal.
As I rushed through the airport to Concourse C, I pulled up Southwest on my smart phone; “Smart phone, dumb woman”. Nope- missed the 10:05 AND the 10:55. Earliest flight at 2:10. “Go to the gate at 12:15 and request a seat. I’ll put you in the system (in some special way I still don’t understand but I’ll trust you) and you’ll be close to the top of standby.”
Ok- 12:00 I found the gate and she said, “Let me just give you a boarding pass.” Thank you. Maybe this isn’t a disaster.
But… my shuttle from the San Antonio Airport to the retreat leaves at 3:00. They won’t wait or they will and I’ll make them late. They’ll be mad or at least irritated. Why wasn’t I more careful? Details escape me. Woe is me.
So I called with my sad story to the driver in Texas and she was so kind. She called me back and “No problem. Marshal is picking up Luci Shaw at 5:00 and you can ride with them. All is well. See you at dinner.”
REALLY? REALLY… I get to spend two hours with the retreat speaker? Even if she’s exhausted and needs to sleep I wanted to at least introduce myself. I’ve been enjoying her work so much this last week. AND…. Her story is my story. Godly Christian husband of 32 years. Didn’t smoke and died of lung cancer. She was left with multiple young adult children. And she published her journals.
What are the chances of the two of us being at a retreat?– I didn’t know her story when God tugged my heart back to Laity Lodge and this particular retreat. What are the chances of my missing my flight?- even if I beat myself up about it, it rarely happens. And what are the chances of my flight coming in at the same time as a woman I wanted to spend time with?
God doesn’t deal with chances. He’s all about redeeming our mistakes. Blessing us in spite of ourselves. Giving us the kiss of “Relax and let Me work it out.” I’m not sure of the theology of all this- does God orchestrate all our moves to accomplish His will? Does He know what we’re going to do and smirks as we hustle and bustle, as we try to scramble to FIX our mistakes? While all along He intends to maneuver us into His PERFECT will? As opposed to His permissive will- a whole concept and theology I never quite understood.
All I know is this – His heart toward me is Good. I no longer care how He does it. I just know that He loves me and somehow it works out. And each time I call myself an idiot for a few seconds less. I catch my breath a few moments earlier. I talk to myself in a kinder voice and remind myself of the goodness of God - last time, this time, next time. He loves me- even if details aren’t my strength. And the nice people I was talking felt empathy, not contempt, as I rushed off to the correct terminal.
My kind, kind sister texted me- “ This is why people want to walk under your umbrella with you ‘cause you’re not holding it so there’s room for others. And it provides exactly what you need.”
Years ago, when my lead foot was even heavier than now, I was rushing to a doctor’s appointment. Even before children I couldn’t leave the house with margin to spare. So hurrying ( see the lack of the word- speeding- which indicates error or responsibility), I was hurrying to the doctor and I was in my little VW Rabbit behind a big truck full of metal junk.
AND THE VOICE OF THE LORD SPOKETH: And my pea size brain distinctly heard, “The umbrella of My protection only goes the speed limit. “ Sheesh…. OK, fine, I’ll slow down. I was a little sheepish. Not really aware of how distinctly He spoke.
And as I slowed to the speed limit, the large truck sped ahead, and a BIG wheel rim fell off the back and landed in the road - right in the spot my little car had just occupied . As I watched it roll to the side of the road, I was so aware of the danger, the death I had just avoided. For I was rushing to a prenatal appointment and who knows.
Who ever knows? I don’t care how it works. The heart of my Father is for my good. And His glory. Let’s hang out under His umbrella.
Who ever knows? I don’t care how it works. The heart of my Father is for my good. And His glory. Let’s hang out under His umbrella.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for your comments. I am always encouraged to know this blog is a blessing.