Attachment

My son and his lovely wife are great people committed to God, to each other and now parents to a beautiful baby girl.  They are thoughtful people and have arranged their schedules so they can be home with Mariam most of the time, especially Lindsay.  Breast-feeding is going well and they have found themselves in the "attachment parenting" camp. Mariam relies on nursing and a bit of movement during the day to settle down for sleep.  It works great for them. Mariam is a delightful little person- happy, curious, healthy. 

"The long-range vision of Attachment Parenting is to raise children who will become adults with a highly developed capacity for empathy and connection.  The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children."   http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

All good things.

Until this grandmother arrives for a visit and tries to put Mariam to sleep.  Even at nine months and cocooned into the familiar stroller, she KNOWS it is not her mama pushing the other end.  She KNOWS it is not her papa crooning hymns into her ear.  She doesn't really know this stranger they call Bebe.  

While they seem fine with her and the Bebe person plops on the floor and plays with her..... Mariam just wants what is familiar, what she is attached to.  Or more to the point, who she is attached to. 

Finally asleep!
Never move a sleeping baby.... add fan and leave her on the cool back patio. 

Not sure who you are.....

But I'm a happy girl so I'll smile! 

And you can give me food but I'm still not sure about you....

          at•tach•ment (əˈtætʃ mənt)

n.

1. the act of attaching or the state of being attached.

2. a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal, or the like; devotion; regard.

3. something that attaches; a fastening or tie.

          Origin: 

1300–50; Middle English atachen  < Anglo French atacher  to seize, 
Old French atachier  to fasten, alteration of estachier  to fasten with or to stake, equivalent to estach (Germanic *stakka stake) + -ier infinitive suffix

Mariam is attached to her parents. They have set a stake so to speak, and provided her an anchor, a reference point, a bond.  It is as it should be, even if it makes Bebe feel a little left out of their inner circle.  I want to be a person that she trusts but I haven't seen her that much, she's still very young and I expected her to be a bit hesitant.  All natural things in the life of a baby. 

Ahh.... these are the arms I wanted. 

But what does my experience say about the other world we also inhabit? The natural world points to and informs our understanding of the spiritual world, the reality that will outlast both time and material. Therefore, in the world of our spirit and soul we also form attachments, enjoy the familiar and fasten ourselves to things and people.  

As Christians, we believe that God put down a stake, a cross, to be precise, and we can bond to that truth, that anchor and form healthy attachments to the God who loves us, who has a good heart toward us, who wants our best.  Much like Mariam's earthly parents, God watches over his children and longs for them to know Him and love Him in return. 

So-  do we look up with eagerness when we hear His voice? Do our lives reflect the inner circle of love and grace where we have been invited to dwell?  Do my attachments  cause a holy hunger in others?   For remember, our membership in faith is not exclusive. We are not trying to create the necessary earthly bonds for a healthy parent-child relationship.  The very Creator of family, of community has already created the safe place for us. We just enter into His family and then, turn back at the door and declare, "Come in with us! You belong as well."

 So much to learn from the small wonders God has given to us in this world. 

Sleep well, Mariam Charis.

Welcome to the family!